Pain is temporary, failure lasts forever

Lean, agile living for the running mother of Peter

2007-12-27

Hippie parenting

I know different people have different opinions on parenting. But when you meet a lot of parents, not entirely sober folks with kids of very different ages displays unexpected differences in viewpoint. And then we're still talking about Swedish middle class protestants from the 20th century.

I've always fashioned myself being kind of a strict mom, wanting my son to cope for himself. He gets to clean with me, do the dishes, take care of the washing and cooking. This is playing with mommy. Getting everything chewed and ready for my little one is not my cup of tea.

Well, after this Christmas I realize I'm more of a hippie mother: Peace, love and understanding.

Peace: even if the most creative environment at work include some warfare, yelling at each other or at a kid is never a good solution, if there is not some kind of real danger involved. I know, keeping the temper down is hard with a three-year-old but I make a point of not yelling at him.

Love: I let Peter know that he's loved every day. Many times every day. If he does something bad he gets to know that I can hate his behaviour but that does not keep me from loving him. This gives him confidence.

Understanding. Children's thoughts are always more complicated and more trivial than you can imagine. And this at the same time. Trying to see things from Peter's perspective is the greatest challenge of my life.

And understanding is also the basis: if I look at something from his perspective it's easier not to get angry and impossible not to love the little creature.

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